Table Management — On Recruiting Players, Setting Expectations, Investment & Feedback
Estimated Reading Time – 51 minutes
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Introduction
Before I touch on this topic, I am going to impart some life advice that I promise is relevant to the matter at hand.
The most important thing is to always irreverently be you. When people walk away because they do not like who you are, that isn't some standard you need to conform to in order to avoid alienating those people. That's the trash taking itself out.
We unfortunately live in a world where many people can't comfortably be who they are in a lot of places, but this is still good wisdom in many situations – if you have to change the way you act or are around someone else in order for that person to be your friend, are they really your friend in the first place? Is it you that person is friends with, or the persona you've conjured for yourself? Do you even want to be friends with them?
It goes both ways too, of course it's possible that what you do genuinely alienates people, and some are going to be fine with it and others aren't. But other people will also appreciate that you're honest and upfront about who you are. I'm sure at some point you've felt glad that someone showed their true colors early, and that doesn't always mean they're a bad person necessarily, just that you're not compatible, and that's okay.
In a way, it tends to save a lot of confrontation, feelings of betrayal and feelings of friendships slipping away as you feel that you're having to put up a brave front to maintain communication, and losing motivation to do so. We could all use a little more honesty, in general. And this extends to a lot of things in life – TTRPGs are one of them.
